Women of the Cross - A Higher Call: Accountability in Your Walk

A mom's world sometimes seems larger than life, somehow distorted by the daily spills and potty training sessions, and we feel distant from our Christian community. I recall many days as a new mom feeling lonely, being more accustomed to spending long periods of time outside the home with other adults. I often wondered if I was an unusual case-perhaps those women who were "born mothers" never pondered such dilemmas. This is when we most need to reach out for another mom's wisdom and encouragement, not retreat back into our world at home.

Our Christian journey should thrive on intimate relationships with other believers. The Bible describes such a relationship in Titus 2:3-5: "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live… but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." As a woman, I thoroughly enjoy Scripture passages that are directly specifically to me. My ears perk up, and I carefully consider what is being said. This Scripture is a beautiful, uncomplicated way to model Godly relationships between women.

In this passage, Paul discusses the importance of women developing deep relationships with one another. He encourages the older, wiser women to teach the younger women about the multi-faceted life of a wife/mother. Such relationships are transparent and many things are shared: from practical ways to love your family and managing a home to maintaining a daily quiet time. We find out that we're not the only ones to experience hard times as mothers of small children. In sharing one another's burdens, prayers, hopes, and dreams, we discover that we're not alone but a part of a larger community.

If it's so simple, why don't more relationships like this take place? Let me take you back to basic junior high science. There is a simple scientific principle called inertia: objects in motion tend to stay in motion; objects at rest tend to stay at rest. People like to do what they are comfortable with-what they've always done. It's not easy to step outside scientific law and build relationships! It's much more undemanding to stay busy with the routine of life. I can remember this fateful conversation my husband and I shared one evening:

"Who me?"

"Yes, you. Why not?"

"Well, none of the other ladies from the church call me up randomly and ask to visit! None of them pursue accountability!" (Revisiting a popular form of logic used as a teenager!)

"What's that supposed to mean? If no one ever does a good thing, isn't it still a good thing?"

"Well…I can't DO that. I'm not LIKE that. I can't just pop over someone's house with coffee and doughnuts and announce I'm here!"

"Why not?"

"Why do I always have to be the one to initiate? Why can't someone else for once? I have no problem with relationships, but I need to have someone step out too."

My heart longed for deep relationships with other Godly women, but a few things clouded my vision. First, is the inertia principle: it's a lot of work to reach out to other women and share our life with them. Often it's our fear of rejection that keeps us imprisoned in isolation. We might ask ourselves: what if I put myself on the line only to have this person not reciprocate a desire for friendship? It's effortless to build relationships when the other person pursues our company. Developing deep relationships is rarely so uncomplicated! Often the other woman is just as anxious about communicating their desire for a more substantial relationship. From my experience, women of all ages crave genuine relationships, but many shrink back from expressing their own vulnerability.

During the conversation with my husband, I complained, "Why does it always have to be me?" Let's face it. We are self-centered human beings. Without the grace of God working in our lives, it's much easier to think of what makes us most comfortable. The real question is: who are we ultimately responsible for? Certainly not what the other moms in our neighborhood and church are doing! I think about my husband's words to me, "Why not you?" and realize that they are my Lords' words to me as well. God is calling you…and me to reach out for deeper fellowship.

In my own life, I've been blessed with an "older woman" who has encouraged me through different seasons. We meet weekly and discuss the topics mentioned in Titus that relate to our lives. Currently, we are reading through Elizabeth George's A Woman After God's Own Heart and talk about a different chapter each week. There are many ways to approach a discipleship relationship, but I've found that having a focus to our conversation helps us avoid idle chatter and delve into the topics mentioned in Titus 2:3-5. I can't imagine my life without accountability-it has kept me on course when my emotions steered me away from the Lord. During the past year, I recognized that it was time to initiate an accountability relationship with a "younger woman." It is a blessing it is to take in knowledge from a more mature Christian and give out what I've learned to a younger woman!

By seeking out solid relationships, we unearth greater serenity beneath the layers of complacency, fear, and selfishness. We discover that we're not alone in our struggles and experience joy from sharing our heart with another person. Paul talked about this act of giving in Acts when he quotes Jesus, "In everything I did...remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" (Acts 20:35) This statement relates to our finances as well of giving of our time and ourselves. Developing accountability relationships requires our time, candidness, and a willing spirit, but the Lord will abundantly bless our efforts "with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3b). In my own experiences, those blessings include a more intimate walk with Christ, a greater understanding of my strengths and weakness, and deeper relationships with loved ones. Perhaps you will be the one to reach out for accountability in your church body-I thank God that I did.

Note: About the Author: April O'Brien plays many roles in life including wife to Michael, mom to Emma, and keeper of the home. She works for an insurance agency and as a freelance writer out of her home. Although she grew up in a Christian home, it wasn't until her college years that she finally grasped Christ's love for her personally. She enjoys sharing her walk with the Lord Jesus through the written word. Her and her family spend much of their time with their church family and reside outside of Buffalo, New York.


Login \| Create Account	Home \| Topics \| Forum \| Journal \| Links \| Search \| FAQ \| Recommend Us